[17/05/2023, 14:08] Cameron: I think running in families does not mean something is necessarily genetic.. if you have any studies to back up your scientific statements, I’d be interested in seeing them, but I don’t think most of these things are genetic
[17/05/2023, 14:11] Cameron: I don’t think there’s a full recovery from any diseases, particularly mental illnesses (which I don’t think of as illnesses)
[17/05/2023, 14:12] Cameron: What happens if someone starts treatment for depression within 12 months?
[17/05/2023, 14:14] Cameron: I don’t think they make a “full recovery” either.. I think that’s a bit of a simplification, and I think it’s probably a bit misleading, but it’s not a topic I’m really an expert on, changes in brain size and shape with/without medication
[17/05/2023, 14:33] Cameron: Are we all equals?
[17/05/2023, 15:55] Uncle 1: Cameron, I think it is pretty amazing when you respond as above. Why don’t YOU google brain shrinkage in depression for yourself. It’s another aspect of your denial.
If you do, best to use sources on the internet that you trust but knowing you, you’ll say none of them are to be trusted. Paranoia reigns on. Intelligence doesn’t come into it.
Carry on and see how well your life turns out. So much good advice from various members of your family and you dismiss it all. Plus you basically said Psychiatrists are all a waste of space. Unbelievable.
While your at it, read back through your posts here today and ask yourself if your are manic. One trouble you have is you can’t be honest with yourself.
[17/05/2023, 16:01] Cameron: I’m taking some of the advice, but I don’t think people are really listening to me when I say I’ve been thinking, so I think it doesn’t make sense to try to totally change my headspace.
What I’ve heard is that there is poor evidence linking both genetics and brain size etc with mental disorders. Googling mental health stuff online is a bit of a minefield, so if you know of any good articles that you believe to be accurate, I would be interested in reading them, but I might have disagreements with them, about them.
What does it mean to be manic? Functioning well? Maybe I should take a bit more time to think before replying, but I don’t think I’m majorly out here
[17/05/2023, 16:05] Cameron: And while I did say I didn’t mind if people told me I was talking rubbish, I was not expecting my relatives to wade in and tell me I am totally delusional.
[17/05/2023, 16:05] Cameron: That really does not seem to me to be the case.
[17/05/2023, 16:07] Cameron: If you want to tell me that my politics is delusional, or my understanding of literature, then fine – I guess – but when I’m talking about my whole life experience, and it’s just brushed aside as delusions, well I think that’s stepping over the mark to quite an extreme degree
[17/05/2023, 16:23] Cameron: Ok, it seems there are lots of articles saying there is brain shrinkage, so presumably there is, but – what does that mean? Treatment? Do the treatments work? For everyone? I’ve been put on various antidepressants several times, and none of them have helped in a good way
[17/05/2023, 16:32] Cameron: But I don’t believe any genes have been found that cause or increase any psychological/mental conditions, so to say that it’s genetics that causes these things to run in families, I believe that is highly speculative
[18/05/2023, 07:51] Aunt 1: Dear Cameron I have read every communication that has been posted by you and every other members of the family . I can see that everyone wants the best for you and everyone is giving advice that is from the heart . We all want to see you have a good life . The conversations has got very complex and involved and at times it seems every advice that has been given has been met with resistance or complex reply about your situation . When you first set up the group I thought you just wanted to be in communication with all the family so yoh can be more in touch. I feel I can’t contribute any more useful advice and certainly don’t want to say anything that will be damaging to your well being . For this reason I feel I need to leave this group . Feel free to text me individually . 🙏
[18/05/2023, 09:02] Cameron: Maybe laying out what I think will help…
I think the medicalisation of mental issues is a bad thing, so if someone promotes doing so, I am likely, while I am able, to protest. I don’t think any of the drugs psychiatrists have prescribed me have helped me, and I suspect that people who are helped by long term psychiatric medications are few and far between.. for most people I think they stop working, or don’t work very well in a good way to begin with. In my experience,I think this is true.
So, I think promoting seeing a doctor about ones mental health is not in general a good thing. For me (and I suspect for others) I think learning about myself and the world is the right approach (which is easier without drugs that make it harder to think) – I believe no one knows for sure how to live life. I think most of the studies of the effects of the drugs have been short term, eg a few months or a year – which is why I am more enthusiastic about palliative care [psychiatry] than about the rest of psychiatry.
Many people have given me advice that I don’t agree with, and most of the time I have remained silent, not wanting to interfere in other people’s thoughts when they have been (for a very long time) very happy to try to get involved with mine – but I think my views are no less valid than anyone else’s, and in writing in a group is an easier place than in person, when someone decides I need to be given advice.
[18/05/2023, 09:41] Uncle 1: Cameron, good morning. I will try to be brief – bound to fail! And I have other urgent ‘stuff’ to deal with.
It took 12 years for me to get the correct diagnosis, a diagnosis of bipolar. At first, I was in denial. In denial because I didn’t have the awareness, or knowledge, I needed to understand what was going on. That was in 2006. My GP said “you need an awareness about the condition”. To this day, they are the wisest words I’ve heard.
I quit my voluntary work, my role as Qualty Lead for a mental health charity and spent the next four months researching bipolar. I then set up Managing-Bipolar and spent the next 5 years working with people with bipolar, over 400 members signed up and were supported and educated about their condition. It was hugely successful and unique. I continued my research beacaue health is a fast moving industry. In short, I’m well informed on this subject.
Then there has been the people with multiple diagnoses where I learnt something about other conditions and their interaction with bipolar.
My informed opinion is that without controlling the mood swings, no medication is going to work. Just about every bipolar sufferer stopped the anti-depressants saying they didn’t work. They don’t, unless you take a mood stabilizer. This then controls the swings and life is much better. At times I’ve not needed my mood stabilizers and life has been better. For me the weight gain is an issue with my diabetes and other issues. It’s difficult without any stressful long running circumstances but worse with them.
Misunderstanding by health professionals because we don’t tell them everything is not their fault. Family and friends often don’t know and support/encourage the denials.
I urge you to see you GP and be totally honest with them. I’m thinking you will then get the right help and IF YOU DO HAVE BIPOLAR, the right treatment will start and life for you, and your friends/family will improve. That’s what everyone wants.
Last point but one point to make is that sometimes we think we are better at things than we are – this can be delusional but what I say, is discuss this with two people whose opinion you respect/trust.
Last thing, think about it and food luck.
PS, had to be one 🤩 your thinking time isn’t helping when you speak with people like GP’s. They don’t have the time for these pregnant pauses. Others don’t have the patience or they’ll end up as a patient.
[18/05/2023, 10:19] Cameron: I think there are thousands of people who have done a lot more research who agree with you, and thousands who have done more research who don’t, so I have a bit of a problem with the word “denial” here (actually I have a problem with it in general – I don’t think we can be sure of anything, particularly about the mind – so I don’t consider it the end of my thought processes. For one thing, I’m fairly sure there’s little influence of genes on these conditions (maybe with the exception of autism, which I’m not sure I can see – or maybe it isn’t a real thing, but one of m friends who I think has a good approach considers themselves mildly autistic.. so, I don’t want to say too forcefully that there’s nothing there. But So, you’re not infallible here.
I suspect you considering yourself bipolar is not a good thing in the long run, or more importantly, you considering you need a mood stabilizer is what I don’t consider a good thing.
I think I’ve had quite a lot of feedback about what I am and am not good at, and I don’t think it’s the case I should severely doubt everything I think about myself. I believe in taking myself out of my comfort zone, but some things I think are going to be difficult, and are not suitable jobs for me.
Occasionally I pause for maybe 10 seconds or more, but I think when someone asks you questions that make sense to them, it sometimes takes time to find something that makes sense to me and work out how to say it in a way they’ll understand.
[18/05/2023, 10:27] Cameron: I could mention that quite a few psychiatrists have, I believe, found talking to me to be enjoyable or interesting. Several have shaken my hand afterwards, in a way that I think would be quite unusual… So I don’t think they thought I was spewing word salad
[18/05/2023, 10:51] Cameron: One of the reasons I’ve set up this group is because I’m concerned what I do on my phone might be being read by someone else (eg government surveillance, or hackers) – if someone unknown to me is watching, I’d rather additionally have those who I do know having access to the same information.
Eg it was very surprising hearing from Rethink yesterday – I last contacted them months ago, but, a couple of hours after posting a letter I am drafting where this is mentioned, I get a phonecall from someone from Rethink – are these related? These are the kinds of questions I never get answers to. Or I get answers to, but I’m not sure that things add up correctly
Something similar is someone I met a few months ago in Ireland contacting me all of a sudden this morning (during a lull in this conversation). There’s no one I can take to about these things, but to say what I think, it may sound a bit crazy. It is a bit crazy, but I can manage it. I think.
Another thing that bothers me is when I was in the general hospital, December 2021, I was advised to accept a bed at the Priory, something I was very unhappy about. As I was getting into the van, a ringtone went off with a big alarm sound.. I wonder if someone thought it best that I react extremely, run away for example.. if they thought they could say one thing to me, but manage my reactions. I hope people don’t believe they can control me, I think I’m more complicated than any of you understand
[18/05/2023, 10:58] Cameron: I thought to myself “is someone suggesting I start acting up? Maybe that would be for the best, but I don’t have the energy, I won’t act up enough.. it’ll be obvious that I’m acting (I’ve tried stuff like that before and it hasn’t worked” – so I sat in the van, and now have the sticky diagnosis of an extremely unpleasant human being with a substantial amount of power over vulnerable people
[18/05/2023, 11:35] Uncle 1: Cameron, you have a massive issue with trust. It is destroying your ability to reason properly. Do you have anyone that you trust or whose opinions you respect. They need to be people of sound mind and not someone you’ve met in a chat room – these peeps are most likely to have an agenda. One that is twisted and harmful. You need at least two people.
Get over the mistrust and you will start on the journey to recovery and believe me, you need to recover. You need a better life. One where you’re happy 😃
[18/05/2023, 11:39] Cameron: I’m not in contact with anyone I’ve met in a chatroom, or similar. I do read stuff on Twitter and online, some of what I read I consider good, some bad.
To be clear, you mean that these 3 concerns are, to the best of your knowledge, baseless?
[18/05/2023, 12:17] Uncle 1: No not all, sometimes I think you have justifiable concerns. These tend to be around where you feel the way health professionals have treated you. Some, not all, are worth following up but that can be stressful and therefore, you need to strike a ‘reasonable balance’ of what to do/expect and that is difficult.
[18/05/2023, 12:22] Cameron: Currently I believe that people close to me will act in ways that are not straightforward, believing me to be likely to react in some way. I don’t think these people (currently that’s everyone) understand me sufficiently to do this, so I must think carefully about what they say and why they say it, otherwise I am quite likely to act in a way that is well below optimal, which I don’t want to hold other people responsible for.
Additionally, people may be being manipulated by other people, so people may not be aware of what is actually going on, so I have to be careful to be polite and fair to everybody. This is a big ask.. there are things I’m pretty sure of, but cannot discuss with anyone
[18/05/2023, 12:24] Cameron: I don’t know what exactly is going on re me, but it seems that I am not being treated in the same way as we should all be able to expect to be treated, IE equally in life (unequally in our various specialisms)
[18/05/2023, 13:07] Uncle 2: Dear Cameron, I didn’t want to write anymore because you cannot accept anything outside what you like, but I am writing this as I see Uncle 1 is giving you very constructive advices and you resist acceptance. As Uncle 1 said, unfortunately you can not or do not want trust anybody even yourself. You do not want to do anything outside what you like.
People here that have provided you advice are your parents, your uncles and cousins, they are people who love you most and want to help you more than anybody else in the world, but because they say things that you dislike you say that they don’t know you and they don’t understand you etc. your mother, your father, and Uncle 1 know you and understand you more than you understand yourself, but you can not or do not want to trust them.
Reading these writings in last 1-2 days, I belive that nobody in the world can help you better than yourself. You have to help yourself to change. Not doing certain constructive things just because you dislike is a childish behaviour, and nobody will accept it from a mature person.
You have created a shell around yourself dear Cameron, let us call it comfort zone, and you do not want to come out of it. You have to break that shell, talk with your loved ones and trust them, change and do as they advice you, don’t say you don’t like, do it happily and enjoy it.
You have the capability to achieve lots and lots more in your life dear, but the first requirement for that is to change. Yes to change, become a new Cameron Kalani from tomorrow, and you will see your progress in a few months.
[18/05/2023, 13:11] Uncle 1: Cameron, I’m not sure what you mean by “various specialisms” but as I said before, you have a massive problem with trust. I deliberately avoided the word paranoia because you seem to be in denial that you have any mental health issues. In my view, you have suffered from paranoia from time to time.
It is something else you need to be aware of. If you don’t trust anyone, I’m not sure how you can move forwards. You will continue to dislike Haywards Heath and from what you’ve said to me in the past that’s because it incorporates a sense of being watched and childhood memories.
The denials are destructive and become viscous circles where you wellbeing suffers. I know from personal experience, and working with people with mental health issues from 2007, it can be very destructive – and not just for the ‘patient’.
I’ve absolutely got to concentrate on my case now. Cheers
[18/05/2023, 13:17] Cameron: I meant a good fireman and a bad fireman should not be treated equally as firemen (the bad fireman should probably lose their job and go and do something else). But I think they should both be treated equally in life, aside from their specialism on dealing with fires.
I won’t deny I have suffered from paranoia, but I don’t think I’m wildly paranoid ATM.
This is not urgently important.
I’m starting a voluntary job next week (assuming they send me an email with instructions, as they said they would) – things should hopefully improve after this. My life is not all bad.
[18/05/2023, 13:19] Cameron: In what way does anyone understand me better than I do myself? That seems like a statement on very shaky grounds
[18/05/2023, 13:33] Cameron: I think my parents and older relatives have memories of me when I was very young, I think this information is useful and I am interested in. Given that I am a 45 year old man, who has thought a lot, and read quite a lot, it seems unlikely that they will understand what is going on in my head – which is not complete rubbish….
{Approx 3 days of messages passed}
….[21/05/2023, 07:57] Cameron: {I posted a long chatgpt transcript taking in human rights and sandboxing}
[21/05/2023, 08:08] Tim Wood: Good morning Cameron, I’m asuming you be at Hurstpierpoint today, so less active here. Read this when you can. I will follow this up with a sugofir you.
[21/05/2023, 08:11] Tim Wood: My eyesight is 💩 – my diabetes/diet so loads of typos. Too late, apologies though.
[21/05/2023, 08:28] Cameron: {I reposted the long chatgpt transcript taking in human rights and sandboxing which had been ignored}
[21/05/2023, 08:49] Cameron: Next essay: how to test effectively
[21/05/2023, 09:15] Cameron: I have to say that I didn’t ask for life advice, I asked for feedback on a couple of letters. I think if you give someone advice that they haven’t asked for, you have to accept that they might disagree. This is an important part of freedom of speech
[21/05/2023, 09:16] Cameron: Even if they do ask for it, they can still question it when it arrives, I think
[21/05/2023, 09:19] Cameron: ‘The notion of ‘destigmatizing mental illness’, which is bandied about in psychiatric circles, is laughably incoherent. It is not logically possible to ‘destigmatize’ a status which is born out of stigmatization.’
[21/05/2023, 10:29] Uncle 1: Cameron, Interesting your response to my post.
Human Rights! What about the tax payers rights? I’m a tax payer so are most here.
How many years have you been on benefit? Housing benefit £800 pcm. Council tax another £100 plus and then your various DWP allowances.
And then the NHS costs, over 1,000 a night in Ticehurst. You and Mother 1 and continue your denials and disagreeing with any diagnosis, many because the ‘label’ is not great.
You are either work shy or I’ll meanwhile you dislike the advice offered here. Is there no hope of reality with you?