I was asked a couple of years ago how many years I’d been on benefits. Figures of £800 a month for housing benefit, council tax at £100 and “various DWP allowances”, as well as £1000 a night in Ticehurst (a psychiatric hospital) were quoted.
I am afraid to say that I have now been on benefit for about 17 years (with a pretty small amount of voluntary work at times) – I feel bad about that, and have done all along. Previously, I’ve done jobs I was bad at, so I’ve been hoping to find something different – but most of that 17 years, with very little idea what.
For some of that time, I applied for maybe 10 jobs a week doing admin (which I knew I was bad at) because that was what I had agreed with the jobcentre. I agreed that because I’d done that type of work before, and didn’t have any sensible ideas for what would be a better fit.
I really wish I had thought faster, or more out of the admin idea box I was stuck in, over those years – because my patchy work record from the few years after the millennium (followed by a degree in physics) didn’t get me a job quickly… which increased my isolation from life, and contributed to later problems.
But, the figures I’d use are much higher than even the £1000 a night for one of the psychiatric hospitals. I wouldn’t really count it financially – but my total benefit is now roughly £1500 a month, and I’ve had a few involuntary stays in hospital – but I think that a lot of people are trying to help (and doing less work, or otherwise negatively impacting the economy) – I feel much worse about that.
Anyway, I’ll add that I have not been asked to attend the jobcentre for over a decade now, or been asked to provide a doctor’s note, for a few years either – which is why I’ve not been due a jobcentre visit
Although, I did go and ask at the jobcentre a couple of times, but they couldn’t help me beyond telling me about a jobs fair in outer Crawley, which turned out to be more difficult to get to by bus and train than I thought, so I got there a bit close to closing time, annoyingly. But I needed to ask at the stalls which ones were ok with criminal records, which was a conversation I was dreading having standing in a jobs fair.
The last time I was advised to ask the doctor for a note (maybe 3 or 4 years ago) I asked them if they thought it was true that I couldn’t work, medically, and I don’t remember who changed the subject before they answered. But, I am still hoping to find something that wouldn’t be too counterproductive.
But I feel bad for much more than this – and that was hard to say. To feel I needed to put that into words. I still can’t…