Conversational Copywriting Portfolio

For a long time, I’ve thought I’d be quite good at making adverts. So, I’ve decided to keep a list of adverts I’ve written for fun (partly in the hope of maybe catching someone’s eye who might want to give me a job, or an internship etc, in something wordy – but also, more realistically, because they might make you smile or chuckle!)

First up: Haggis

“Haggis is the pride of Scotland, that blossoms in your belly into a warm happiness that can keep out the chill of the Highlands”

TBH that could maybe work as an advert for Scotland as well… but maybe quite the reverse. This was following encountering a post on social media, on what to put on a menu (of a Scottish restaurant in London) for something as unappealing as a haggis…

Next up is: while enjoying a very nice coffee and cake in London, a couple of drafts:

First draft: “Our blueberry pastel de nata is so good we’ll have you licking the napkin after dabbing your mouth like the nice boy/girl you are”

Second draft: “Our [insert flagship cake/pastry/coffee product] is so good we’ll have you(“you’ll be”?) licking the napkin clean after delicately dabbing your mouth like the well-behaved muffin you are”

After which, I lost interest a bit – as urges to munch a napkin has probably been done before, but also that I found myself a bit bogged down in whether or not it would be a good special offer deal to have customers adding an “I am a well-behaved muffin” to their “large cappuccino, please” at the counter…

Scotland/haggis take 2:

“Haggis is the pride of Scotland, that cheers from your belly into a warm happiness that can keep out the chill of the Highlands”

Is that ermm, less evocative of stomach fungus? (“cheers” instead of “blossoms”)

Current final version (after 3 days of not coming up with a new fun advertising project) – Scotland/haggis multipurpose edition:

“Haggis is the [culinary] pride of Scotland, that warms from the belly into a canny happiness that keeps out the chill of the Highlands”

…and then I got too depressed about ChatGPT etc, but if I think of any more, I’ll consider adding them…